Monday, December 6, 2010

Reverb 10: Let Go

I'm a total slacker. I let this one go. Not one week into December and I've already slacked off.

But, in my own defense, I did read the prompt yesterday and immediately thought of two things that I could talk about, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to go there for all the internet to see, so I decided I would answer it today, after I'd given it some thought. And, oh look, I thought of something else that I don't mind sharing with my little corner of the world.

December 5 Let Go

What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

This year I let go of a lot of my anger regarding the things that have happened in my family in the past few years. I let go of a lot of my anger; that is to say, not all of it (that's gonna take a while).

So much has happened...and even though it happens time and again, when something happens to us we, as humans, are angry and can't even imagine that the anger will ever fade. It feels too real, too fresh, too biting. And that's okay. We're all human. The wonderful thing is, time heals wounds. It always has, no matter how deep.

So I let go of a lot of my anger regarding things Jason did, regarding the way life was at home growing up, regarding how unfair it sometimes seems that I'm the one stuck with this shortcoming or that illness or whatever it might be that's causing me to mope and feel sorry for myself. It didn't all go at just kinda faded.

I mean, of course there are still times when I remember something specific and feel hurt all over again, which leads to anger, but each time this happens it's a little less intense, and I find myself calming down more quickly. I also find myself trying very hard to put myself in the shoes of whoever it is I'm angry with. I remember something someone did or said to me, and I try to think about what he or she must have been thinking or feeling, and I try to cut people some slack. I don't know what it's like to be somebody else, but I think about times when I've done or said something hurtful and nine times out of ten I really didn't mean it or maybe it was a complete accident and if it happens to me, I'm sure it happens to other people. I'm really trying to give others the benefit of the doubt.

Anyway. It's a work in progress, far from being finished. I'm sure it'll take years for everything to settle completely and for me to be able to move on, but I did a lot of moving on this past year. You should try it sometime. It's refreshing.


magnolia said...

it really, really is refreshing. and like i said when i took my turn: letting go of the bad made a lot more room for some pretty amazing stuff.

Anna W said...

Dwelling on things certainly wasn't doing me any good, and now while I'm trying to focus on the good I really do feel happier.