December 19 Healing
What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?
What a loaded question.
I've been healing for years now, from all sorts of things. It's always a long process. It's always a difficult process. It may never end, but I'll keep trying.
I think the biggest single thing that healed me (of what, I don't know) this past year was blogging. It's been a little surprising to me how much I've learned about myself while I'm writing. It's good to think about what's going on in my head. It's weird in there, for sure, but there are some good things floating around in there as well.
I think having a place to write whatever I want, or whatever I need, sometimes, is so healthy for me. I mean, yes, a lot of the time my content is just about daily life, or pictures of Buster or The Best Baby Ever, but sometimes when something's really eating at me I can write a bit, and I don't write much, but for every word I write there are five more in my head that I didn't share with you all, and putting some of it down helps me sort out the rest. Trust me, you're glad I have a filter (I'm freaking nuts, remember?).
So this is gradual. It's slow. And I'm ok with that.
So how would I like to be healed in 2011? Well, the biggest thing I'm constantly worrying about right now is my crappy emotional eating problems. I don't know if I'll ever be able to heal the emotional roots of this problem, but hopefully this coming year I can at least break the cycle and find another way to express those emotions. Who knows, maybe I'll change from an emotional eater to an emotional marathon runner. I'd have great legs, for sure...