Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Open Letters 3

Dear Blog,

Why aren't you more fun to write? Probably because my life is boring right now. But don't worry; Halloween is coming up and there's always a post about that, and Scott is talking about starting the basement this weekend, so there will be many posts about that as well.

Love,
Your Pathetic, Boring BlogMama


Dear Scott,

I can't even tell you how proud I am of you and all the amazing things you know how to do. You're downstairs right now making blueprints to submit to the city to get a builder's permit so we can finish the basement, and I can't be more pleased. We've been saving for many months and I think we're ready to take the plunge. Besides, Jorg still owes us several hours of work, so we might as well milk that for all it's worth! It'll be awesome to have that finished so we can then get all the flooring put in. We'll be one step closer to having a real house with walls and floors and everything! I'll try to help as much as I can, and I'm sure you'll teach me lots of new things about how things should be built.

Love forever,
Wifie (Who Will Have An Actual Laundry Room)


Dear New Coffeemaker,

I bought you because I realized how much money I was spending on coffee every morning, and how many paper or plastic coffee cups were going into the garbage, and how it's quite obvious that I've become a daily coffee drinker. You only cost me about $20. I picked you over the $14 coffee maker because you make five cups instead of three, and you're black and stainless steel like the rest of the appliances in my kitchen. You're super fast and I can program you to make coffee while I shower in the morning. I even bought two kinds of coffee to try out and some of that fancy flavored creamer. Throw some Stevia in and I'm a happy, caffeinated morning person (almost). You even make my house smell good in the morning (though Scott doesn't appreciate the smell like I do, so he might hold a grudge against you, but don't worry, it's nothing personal).

Thanks for waking me up,
Caffeinated Anna


Dear Frederick The Animatronic Skeleton,

Why don't you just dress yourself? I mean, I just don't want to do it. I will, though. I have until Monday. But I better have it done before that, because we need to be able to troubleshoot if something doesn't work out. I just really don't appreciate that you've been standing in my living room, staring at me while I do other projects. Glaring at me isn't going to make me pay attention to you!

Love,
Someone Who Sucks At Sewing


Dear Kwiddens,

I can't even believe how amazing you are. I needed you desperately and you came through for me. Li's wedding is in December and I needed a bridesmaid dress...you know how I get when I shop for clothes. It gets ugly. Hyperventilating ensues. But you saved me, and the most amazing thing is that you found me a dress, a shrug, and shoes, all in the space of about four hours, and all for under $200. YOU. ARE. AMAZING. You even helped me find a dress that flatters my figure. Now all I have to do is find a bustier sort-of-thing to squish my fat into a more appealing shape, and voila, I'll be super hot and ready to go. I owe you big time.

Love,
Your Chubby (And Now, Less Anxious) Sister

P.S. Can you help me figure out how to put makeups on my face? I'm a little rusty...

5 comments:

Kwiddens said...

Dear Sister,
Thank you for saying I'm amazing!! And yes, I can help you do your makeups. Because you know that my eyelashes always look AMAZING!! (I'm bragging a little bit)I love helping you and doing things with you. Love it. OH! And I love you.

The Miguel Family said...

Anna I love you! The last sentence "Can someone teach me how to put makeups on my face," made me smile! I am so glad you found a dress. That can be super stressful!

Kim said...

I think the skeleton needs his own posts on this blog. Like a guest post series.

magnoliathoughts.com said...

kudos to kwiddens - the bridesmaid dress is probably the worst creation in the history of time.

my almost-sisters turned the god-awful bridesmaid dresses from my wedding to the ex-husband into "revenge of the bridesmaid" halloween costumes, years before zombies were trendy. i love that. my ex was insulted, but i giggled for days.

Sarah Louise said...

spanx (or the cheap target version) are a miracle invention! You can wear them and still breathe :)