Saturday, April 10, 2010

Luck?

For the most part I would not consider myself lucky. Everything I have has come from good decisions and smart planning at some point in my life.

I have a great husband because I took a long time to date and get to know him before I really committed. I dated many men of all types before meeting him so I would find out about myself: what I admired in a man, what wasn't really that important, and what I wanted a relationship to be like. I chose from the very beginning to not make the same mistakes my parents made (no offense, Mim) and to communicate about everything (and I mean everything, even if it's embarrassing) with Scott. I chose to focus on what's important and make sure I didn't have unrealistic expectations about what marriage would be like. I chose to do whatever it takes to make this marriage the best I've ever seen, no matter how difficult it got.

I have plenty of money because I went to college, got a challenging and (somewhat) useful degree so I could get a very good job, which I've kept because I chose to give it my all, and also because I worked so hard in high school so I could get a scholarship, and worked at least one job at all times through college so I have no debt. Scott and I decided to be careful and responsible with our money so we can afford to live the lifestyle we want, so we were able to buy one car half with cash, half on credit, and the other totally in cash. We have since paid off the first car, so the only debt we have at all is the mortgage. It helps that we decided not to have children, because let's face it: dogs are cheaper.

I have an amazing house and awesome renovation plans because Scott and I decided to take the leap into homeownership at the perfect time in relation to the housing market. We have such awesome plans and the means to put them into place because we are going to do most of the work ourselves, and because we got the tax credit for buying a house.

I have an amazingly smart and adorable and sweet dog that fits into our family perfectly because Scott and I wanted to rescue him, and he was just so freaking adorable that as soon as we saw him we knew he was ours.

I have a good relationship with (most of) my family because I chose to move on and give people a second chance. The only person I have no relationship with is the one person who doesn't even want a relationship with me, and I have finally realized that this is totally beyond my control. I can never forget about the crap I went through growing up and during the first few years I was married (the crap had nothing to do with Scott, but everything to do with my screwed up family), but I choose to ignore it, forgive, and focus on the future. One of the best decisions I ever made was to try to have a relationship with Mim again.

I have my sanity because I chose to take care of myself and see a psychiatrist. I also saw a therapist for a while to help me get past my past and my hang-ups. I have my sanity because I have finally recognized my limitations and learned about myself on such a deeper level. I now understand how my mind works and how I can deal with it to make my life as normal as possible. I choose to think of my condition as a challenge, not a handicap.

I have lost weight because I took charge of my life and my health and worked DAMN hard to get the weight off. hCG was hands down the hardest thing I have ever done, and it was also worth it for so many reasons. I lost so much weight and made a giant step toward breaking some very deeply ingrained food addictions. I learned portion control and how to make healthier lifestyle choices. And I look better, too. (FYI, I'm back on the diet to get the last 20 pounds off. I did so well maintaining my weight after the last round, and this time around the cravings aren't so intense. They're also different. Last time I was craving Krispy Kremes, and this time around I am craving salad.)

So I don't consider myself lucky, even though I have such an amazing life right now (knock on wood...). I have worked so hard physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually to get where I am today.

But last night I was so so SO lucky.

Because there was a drunk kid going down our street at about midnight slashing everyone's tires on every car that wasn't in a garage for no apparent reason.

And he skipped ours.

(The cops caught him, don't worry)

LUCKY.

Also, the weather seems to have gotten its act together.

2 comments:

Kim said...

Sometimes all you can count on is luck....

Anna W said...

Yeah...it makes me uncomfortable though. I like relying on myself mostly.