Some Jumbled Thoughts

I just have a few things on my mind today...

I'm worrying way too much about how the remodel will turn out and I know we have plenty of cash to pay for it but once you get a certain amount of money in the bank it physically hurts to dip below that amount. I'm worrying that the kitchen remodel won't look as good as we're planning, and that the flooring we picked is all wrong, and blah blah blah...

I was worrying so much last night I couldn't sleep. Scott noticed I was up and came down to talk to me and I am ashamed to say that I was upset so I said some things that I shouldn't have that really hurt his feelings. I try so hard not to say hurtful things, I really do, but last night I felt like I needed someone to blame for a certain situation I'm in and in walked Scott, and he was just right there so I lashed out at him. Ugh. I feel like an ugly person inside today because of it.

Also since it was an unpleasant conversation, neither of us could get back to sleep so we're both total zombies today. I feel horrible about this because I'm the one who kept him up, and he's got a giant coding project at work he has to get done by the end of tomorrow - one of those impossible deadline projects - and I kept him up so he's not going to be able to focus.

I feel like I can't apologize enough for hurting his feelings...I hate when this happens. We've only ever had like three "fights" in our marriage (because we're really good about working things out as they happen and resolving conflicts amicably) and it's always been because we had a misunderstanding, and it's always because I'm freaking out about something stupid.

GAH.

Other than that, I'm just winding lots and lots of yarn into balls for the blanket I'm going to make. It's taking forever. Good thing I had carpal tunnel surgery, because this used to wreak havoc on my hands!

We get to order the rest of the decking materials on Saturday, and we plan on starting the deck the following weekend. Mim and Scott's friend Ben are coming over to help and I think between the four of us we will probably be able to finish it in one weekend.

Scott has started painting the 'Stang. The colors are awesome and it's looking pretty good so far. I think one more color coat and then the clear coats are all he has left.

Kwiddens had her baby shower this past Saturday, and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be (I don't particularly like showers and I really don't particularly like her in-laws). I did however get a sunburn. It wasn't too bad, but it's itching like crazy and I burned my scalp so combing my hair is quite unpleasant.

Maybe I will think of more later, but for now I'm just trying to stay awake at work. The temptation to nap at my desk is INSANE right now.