Thursday, February 17, 2011

Text Time 13: In Which I Reveal That I'm Actually A Jerk

Kwiddens: I hope I don't go to hell
Me: Why would you?
Kwiddens: Lol idk. I just don't wanna be stuck with Isaac's mom for eternity.

Kwiddens: Did you know that I'm the meanest mom in the world?
Me: Oh?
Kwiddens: I sucked all the snot out of Nyah's nose
Me: How could you do such a thing!?
Kwiddens: I'm heartless
Me: Who is telling you that?!
Kwiddens: Nyah is :) She's squealing like a stuck pig
Me: Lol. I thought Isaac's mom was saying that to you or something...I was about to leave work and kick her ass.
Kwiddens: There would be nothing left by the time you got here.

Kwiddens: I want to be a wizard.
Me: Hell yes.

Me: I thought about starting a new blog. Anonymous. With nothing but the texts we share about Isaac's mom. With names changed. Hilarious.
Kwiddens: You should.
Me: I will do it nine times. Because they're hilarious, but too mean to put on my personal blog.
Kwiddens: I'm horrible.
Me: We both are. But we've been driven to it!
Kwiddens: Exactly. I'm going to give Isaac's mom a lobotomy in her sleep.
Me: Use something dull. Like a spoon.
Kwiddens: Yeah. Or I'll just tilt her head back and pour a strong acid up her nose
Me: I can bring you some. What kind do you prefer? HF causes a lot of damage, as do super acids, but I don't have access to those. I do, however, have sulfuric acid, which eats through soft tissue in seconds.

Kwiddens: I need to buy a punching bag.
Me: Why not use Isaac's sister? She's large and soft.
Kwiddens: Haha

Conclusion: We are going to hell.


magnolia said...

haha - in the words of the immortal billy joel, i'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.

we will TOTALLY hang out in hell.

Anna W said...

It's comforting to know that I'm not alone...