Baby Shower!

So Kwiddens had her baby shower last Saturday and I've been putting off posting about it because moving pictures from my phone to my laptop is terribly annoying (but I just ordered a USB micro SD adapter, so maybe it will be easier in the future).

I stayed down at Mim's Friday night. Scott wanted me out of the house while he was painting the 'Stang (which is coming along quite nicely) and we planned on driving up to her house together.

So on the way down we were goofing off and having a great time being ridiculous, because that's what you do with your family (my family, anyway) and Em had gotten these stick-on mustaches and so we were being total dorks, so here is my dear Em, doing her best impression of a creepy old dude: And then of course Mim had to try it, and she looks slightly less creepy:

I declined the offer to participate. I know, I'm boring.

So Kwiddens was there (duh) and very very pregnant:

Oh man am I glad it isn't me that's pregnant...

So she got boatloads of baby stuff from friends and family, and this isn't even half of it:

But she got a crib and a car seat and tons of clothes and of course the blanket I made for her, which I forgot to take a picture of because I SUCK AT THIS GAME (maybe someone will take a picture with her phone and send it to me, hint hint). Anyway, I gave her the blanket, literally one of the most beautiful (and expensive) things I have ever made, and Kwiddens loved it and understood how much time it took to make that (I'm gonna love that baby to death!), and usually the crowd's response is something akin to HOLY CRAP YOU MADE THAT HOW AMAZING. However, I believe Isaac's family is full of idiots who wouldn't see something beautiful for what it is if it were shoved in their faces (I know that seems mean, but seriously, you have to know these people. I'll probably blog about them later). No response. I was hurt and disappointed. At least the person it was for cared and loved it.

After the opening of the presents the shower changed into an open-house type of affair, so we all did whatever we wanted. For Mim and me that entailed sunbathing:

(which turned out to be pretty dumb since we all got sunburned, but oh the sun felt nice!).

And for Em it involved swinging on the hammock, ignoring everyone else, until Isaac offered to push her on the tire swing:

Let me tell you, it's been years since I've tire swung, and sometimes I just really miss being a kid.

Some Jumbled Thoughts

I just have a few things on my mind today...

I'm worrying way too much about how the remodel will turn out and I know we have plenty of cash to pay for it but once you get a certain amount of money in the bank it physically hurts to dip below that amount. I'm worrying that the kitchen remodel won't look as good as we're planning, and that the flooring we picked is all wrong, and blah blah blah...

I was worrying so much last night I couldn't sleep. Scott noticed I was up and came down to talk to me and I am ashamed to say that I was upset so I said some things that I shouldn't have that really hurt his feelings. I try so hard not to say hurtful things, I really do, but last night I felt like I needed someone to blame for a certain situation I'm in and in walked Scott, and he was just right there so I lashed out at him. Ugh. I feel like an ugly person inside today because of it.

Also since it was an unpleasant conversation, neither of us could get back to sleep so we're both total zombies today. I feel horrible about this because I'm the one who kept him up, and he's got a giant coding project at work he has to get done by the end of tomorrow - one of those impossible deadline projects - and I kept him up so he's not going to be able to focus.

I feel like I can't apologize enough for hurting his feelings...I hate when this happens. We've only ever had like three "fights" in our marriage (because we're really good about working things out as they happen and resolving conflicts amicably) and it's always been because we had a misunderstanding, and it's always because I'm freaking out about something stupid.

GAH.

Other than that, I'm just winding lots and lots of yarn into balls for the blanket I'm going to make. It's taking forever. Good thing I had carpal tunnel surgery, because this used to wreak havoc on my hands!

We get to order the rest of the decking materials on Saturday, and we plan on starting the deck the following weekend. Mim and Scott's friend Ben are coming over to help and I think between the four of us we will probably be able to finish it in one weekend.

Scott has started painting the 'Stang. The colors are awesome and it's looking pretty good so far. I think one more color coat and then the clear coats are all he has left.

Kwiddens had her baby shower this past Saturday, and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be (I don't particularly like showers and I really don't particularly like her in-laws). I did however get a sunburn. It wasn't too bad, but it's itching like crazy and I burned my scalp so combing my hair is quite unpleasant.

Maybe I will think of more later, but for now I'm just trying to stay awake at work. The temptation to nap at my desk is INSANE right now.

Today In Pictures

So the paint for the Mustang came in:I seriously didn't think it was this complicated...so many things to mix and about ten different coats...I'm glad Scott is doing it instead of me.

I was looking into my ICP-MS and noticing how pretty plasma is:
Yeah that's about 10,000 degrees Celsius in there. Awesome.

Buster got a haircut:
I loved the long hair, but it was getting to where we had to brush him every day to keep it from getting terribly matted. We got rid of the curtains that were over the windows in our living room, so it's much easier for him to watch outside, so there he is, perched in his usual spot.

I ordered yarn for a blanket for Mim:
It came today and all the colors are just right together, and I absolutely cannot wait to get started on it.

We went to Home Depot today. If we made the first purchase on Scott's new Home Depot Card today, we got 10% off, so we went and ordered some stuff for the back door and the deck and got some tools:
Apparently spending $2,000 makes Scott very upset. He's going to pout for days...

We Rock

Our building permit got approved!

Wheeeeeeee!

Now, to wait until May 1 to order the decking...

So Slow...

I feel like nothing is going on, but that's not completely true...it just seems like the same things are just still happening and taking their sweet time to do it.

For example, Scott is still working on getting the car prepped to paint. He's pretty sure that he'll be ready for it this coming weekend, so I'm going down to Mim's so I don't have to sit around and smell the fumes. Although that might actually be fun, after I get over the lightheadedness... Either way it just seems like this stage has been going on for soooo looong, but Scott is back to full time now at work and we have so many other things going on, so really he's going along at a fast pace.

Another thing is the renovation. Our next phase is the back door and the deck. We've gone to Home Depot and planned and prepared our order, and we were going to buy it soon but it turns out if we wait until May 1 there's an extra discount on the decking, and we need it since we're going with the nice stuff. So we're waiting until then, and in the meantime we're still waiting on our building permit...we put in the rest of our plans last week and we're impatient for it to be approved.

I've also been dragging my feet on the baby blanket for Kwiddens...it has been all done except weaving the ends for months now...I think...anyway, I hate weaving in ends so I kept putting it off, and now here I am, with her baby shower this coming Saturday, and I have all these ends to weave in...I worked on it tonight for about an hour and a half, and I think if I do that every night this week I can have it done by Thursday night. After that, Kwiddens asked me to make her socks to wear to the hospital when she goes into labor, but frankly, I'm all socked out, so I think I'm going to ask her if I can make them later just as a regular present for no specific occasion...

Because: I found a pattern for a blanket that I really really really want to make, and I caved and ordered the yarn for it, and it should be here any day...oh I'm bad.

But, things are getting done. This past weekend Scott and I did yard work, organized and cleaned the spare room, which is the car parts room for now, and did some spring cleaning inside the house.

I know things will get going soon, but I'm just so impatient!

Plus, there were leftover lemon poppyseed muffins in my coworker's office today and they were very tempting. I've also been craving chocolate, which is weird, because that's never been a craving I've had on a regular basis, but I blame the hCG.

Text Time 3

Me: I love when Scott takes a Benadryl so he can eat seafood
Mim: That's true love!

Kwiddens: Isaac and I are in a gun shop and there's this old guy walking around farting and it's hilarious
Me: And gross...?
Kwiddens: Yeah the smell was atrocious

Mim: It would be so cool to have a date on a Friday night...

Me: Make a date with an apple and a glass of water!

Mim: You're my hero!

Me: It'll be so romantic. You could light candles and listen to Sinatra.

Me: Haha, when my phone vibrates in my pocket all the fat on my leg jiggles!

Kwiddens: Sad

Me: It's ok. I am on the diet again so the fats will disappear.

Mim: I like dead people so much more than living...

Me: I know what you mean

Oh, my family is awesome.

Luck?

For the most part I would not consider myself lucky. Everything I have has come from good decisions and smart planning at some point in my life.

I have a great husband because I took a long time to date and get to know him before I really committed. I dated many men of all types before meeting him so I would find out about myself: what I admired in a man, what wasn't really that important, and what I wanted a relationship to be like. I chose from the very beginning to not make the same mistakes my parents made (no offense, Mim) and to communicate about everything (and I mean everything, even if it's embarrassing) with Scott. I chose to focus on what's important and make sure I didn't have unrealistic expectations about what marriage would be like. I chose to do whatever it takes to make this marriage the best I've ever seen, no matter how difficult it got.

I have plenty of money because I went to college, got a challenging and (somewhat) useful degree so I could get a very good job, which I've kept because I chose to give it my all, and also because I worked so hard in high school so I could get a scholarship, and worked at least one job at all times through college so I have no debt. Scott and I decided to be careful and responsible with our money so we can afford to live the lifestyle we want, so we were able to buy one car half with cash, half on credit, and the other totally in cash. We have since paid off the first car, so the only debt we have at all is the mortgage. It helps that we decided not to have children, because let's face it: dogs are cheaper.

I have an amazing house and awesome renovation plans because Scott and I decided to take the leap into homeownership at the perfect time in relation to the housing market. We have such awesome plans and the means to put them into place because we are going to do most of the work ourselves, and because we got the tax credit for buying a house.

I have an amazingly smart and adorable and sweet dog that fits into our family perfectly because Scott and I wanted to rescue him, and he was just so freaking adorable that as soon as we saw him we knew he was ours.

I have a good relationship with (most of) my family because I chose to move on and give people a second chance. The only person I have no relationship with is the one person who doesn't even want a relationship with me, and I have finally realized that this is totally beyond my control. I can never forget about the crap I went through growing up and during the first few years I was married (the crap had nothing to do with Scott, but everything to do with my screwed up family), but I choose to ignore it, forgive, and focus on the future. One of the best decisions I ever made was to try to have a relationship with Mim again.

I have my sanity because I chose to take care of myself and see a psychiatrist. I also saw a therapist for a while to help me get past my past and my hang-ups. I have my sanity because I have finally recognized my limitations and learned about myself on such a deeper level. I now understand how my mind works and how I can deal with it to make my life as normal as possible. I choose to think of my condition as a challenge, not a handicap.

I have lost weight because I took charge of my life and my health and worked DAMN hard to get the weight off. hCG was hands down the hardest thing I have ever done, and it was also worth it for so many reasons. I lost so much weight and made a giant step toward breaking some very deeply ingrained food addictions. I learned portion control and how to make healthier lifestyle choices. And I look better, too. (FYI, I'm back on the diet to get the last 20 pounds off. I did so well maintaining my weight after the last round, and this time around the cravings aren't so intense. They're also different. Last time I was craving Krispy Kremes, and this time around I am craving salad.)

So I don't consider myself lucky, even though I have such an amazing life right now (knock on wood...). I have worked so hard physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually to get where I am today.

But last night I was so so SO lucky.

Because there was a drunk kid going down our street at about midnight slashing everyone's tires on every car that wasn't in a garage for no apparent reason.

And he skipped ours.

(The cops caught him, don't worry)

LUCKY.

Also, the weather seems to have gotten its act together.

Dino Confusion

I keep having dreams about dinosaurs.

I've had regular dreams about dinosaurs since I was a little girl.

Anybody know how to interpret dreams? It's always either T-Rexes or Velociraptors.

P.S. Blogger always screws with my formatting.

What And What And What And What

1. Why did you start blogging?

I had a blog in college, and a lot of my friends did, too, so it was a nice community thing where I could keep up with all my friends, mostly from high school. There was a dramatic incident which I shall not go into now and I stopped blogging, and it was three years before I took it up again. I missed having a place to just write whatever. What I think, what I feel, things that happen, general complaints...I like being able to share with other people, whether I know them or not.

2. Who's the one blog friend that you would want to meet most in "real life"?
PCL. She's freaking hilarious, and very witty, too.

3. Why are you always concerned with losing that "extra 10 pounds" when chances are your husband/boyfriend/friends tell you that you look just fine the way you are? I know Scott is fine with how I look. But I want to feel beautiful. I deserve to feel beautiful. Every woman does. Plus, my doc told me to lose the weight. I'm 30 pounds down, about 20 to go. And this exercising every day thing is definitely gonna help.

4. What's the one thing you wish guys could understand about you?
I'm not like the rest. I'm so mellow. As long as I haven't missed any pills.

5. Tattoos. How many do you have and how many are visible when you wear your "everyday" clothes?
Just the one. I didn't say anything, but I got it in January and I love it. It's on the inside of my left wrist and it reminds me every day to just chill the hell out, reminds me that if I just sit down and breathe I will be able to handle whatever crap life throws at me.

So, obviously, it is visible when I wear my "everyday" clothes, but if I ever need to look more "polished" I can wear a bracelet or watch and it won't show at all. (By the way, it was the most painful thing I've ever been through.)

6. What was the best year of your life and why?
I think I have to say my last year of college. I had Scott, but I was still single and living with my best friend. I was taking all chemistry classes (none of that other junk...) and I wasn't wasting my time in church (I don't mean to imply that church is a waste of time...it just was for me at that time)(really, that's a topic for another day). I had the best jobs ever(Lecture Prep supervisor, Student Instructor for o-chem lab, o-chem stockroom assistant, private tutor) and I was in Y-Chem so I was doing chem demos at elementary schools almost every week and I was making way more money than I needed and totally living it up. I'm not saying that my life isn't good now; on the contrary, I'm so happy with my situation I can't believe it sometimes. But back then, I was...me. For the first time.

7. Name three things you would do if you were a man for one day.
1. I don't want to be a man, 2. That would suck, and 3. Being married to my Scott would be illegal because I'm in Utah.

8. What's your alcoholic drink of choice that usually raises a few eyebrows?
I like fruit flavored beer and strawberry daiquiris, and that's about it, and those aren't weird or anything, so no eyebrows over here.


And whoever knows the reference in the title of this post gets ten awesome points. To be redeemed for...maternity socks, because I know who will know.

Comments?

So last night I had a dream that I was at Dairy Queen with Kwiddens, and it was the Dairy Queen where we both used to work in Sioux Falls, and I was looking over the menu and I couldn't think of what to get because I don't eat burgers or fries. I saw cheese balls (and if you haven't had these you're missing out)(I don't know if they have them anymore)(sad) and decided that that was what I wanted, and Kwiddens informed me that they didn't sell those anymore. So when I was finished being mad that they were on the menu when they weren't for sale, I picked tater tots. I don't know if DQ really has tater tots...anyway.

Then the question came up in my dream: tater tots are essentially fried potatoes, and french fries are fried potatoes, so since I have banned french fries from my diet, am I still allowed to eat tater tots?

Keep in mind that they have never been a "binge food" for me. Somehow, they just don't taste as good. Good, but not AMAZING.

I want you all to vote! In the comments!

All Better!

So here's an update on Buster:

Scott took him to the regular vet Monday afternoon. They did blood tests, urine tests, poo tests, and poor Buster was poked, prodded and generally violated in every way possible (but it was for the best, no?).

All tests came back totally normal except his electrolytes, which were through the floor, and I guess that means he's severely dehydrated. So we're to continue the antibiotics and pain meds just in case, and give him as much chicken broth and Pedialite as we can get him to eat. So we were worried that he wouldn't like it, but as soon as we poured some broth he soaked it up. In order to get him to drink the Pedialite, we mixed it with canned dog food (instead of his usual dry food) until it was like dog food soup, and apparently he likes that, too. Lucky us!

So we've been watching him, and he seems to be back to his old self. We have no idea why he was dehydrated in the first place, so we're going to make it a habit of giving him chicken broth now and then. But he's prancing around and getting excited and just loving life again, and he hasn't acted like he's in pain at all anymore. AWESOME.

Also, it's freaking snowing again. Apparently the weather didn't get my letter.

Oh No You Didn't

Dear Weather,

I am writing to voice some concerns I have regarding your recent behavior. You have been rather inconsistent lately and I worry that you might have lost sight of who you are and what your goals should be.

We spent some time in your lovely sunshine a few days ago, and then we had a little bit of rain, which is understandable given that we are in April. I was so excited to wash my winter coat and hang it up until next winter, and the next thing I know it's a bit too cold for my jacket again. I also must tell you that I put away my mittens as well, and my hands have been a bit cold.

All of this, my dear Weather, pales in comparison to the tantrum you threw last night. I don't know why you were so upset, but was this
really necessary? That was eight or nine inches of naughty, all over the state. I'm very disappointed in you, as you were headed strongly in the right direction, the direction that would lead you to meet your goals, namely, getting warm and acting your age.

You are lucky that my wonderful husband shoveled this nasty stuff away from my car so I could back out of the driveway this morning.

Otherwise, I may have felt a little less charitable. I'm not sure yet how to punish you for this; I will inform you as soon as I make a good decision.

Regards,

Anna Walker

P.S. Don't freaking do it again. Don't even.

BioGrandparents

So when I was very very young Mim divorced my BioDad and then a few years later married my Dad (who legally adopted us, so he isn't a stepfather, he's my Dad) and we lost contact with my BioGrandparents. A while back they tracked Kwiddens down and got in touch and started talking and such, and Kwiddens asked me if I wanted in and the whole situation seemed weird to me, and I wasn't sure, so I just sat on it for a while. Then, in November, they came to Kwiddens's wedding and I saw them for the first time in probably 20 years, and it was weird...

Anyway, some time passed and I mulled it over and decided that I would shoot them an e-mail and start getting to know them. And it's been weird, and fun, and interesting, and confusing. But the other day I got my birthday card in the mail from them and it felt...nice.

Mim's parents and my Dad's parents were just never close to us, so I kinda grew up without the grandparent experience. And when I get an e-mail from them, it's...nice. I like it. It's family I've really never known so it's so strange but I like it and am excited for when they come to Utah in August to see Kwiddens's baby. I will make sure to spend some time with them and get to know them more in person.

It's kinda like having a pen pal. Well, two pen pals and a dog named Sonny.

I'm Heartbroken

I'm heartbroken because poor Buster is sick.

We're not sure what's going on. He's just acting so strangely. He's fidgety, and restless, and is whining like he's in pain, and his stomach looks and feels swollen, and he's eating much faster than usual, and it's just sad because we can tell he's miserable. We went to the Animal ER in Sunset today and the vet thought it might be colitis, which is (I think) an infection in the bowels. So we have antibiotics and painkillers for him, but they will take some time to help, and in the meantime Scott and I are just looking on helpless to make him feel any better. We're supposed to feed him rice and chicken and give him the pills twice a day and of course he won't take them so we have to basically shove them down his throat and it hurts me just to think about it.

I'm worried there's something more serious going on because he's on the painkillers but he's still acting like he's in a lot of pain. He's breathing really fast like he's stressed and he's cowering and hiding from us which is absolutely bizarre, and I just want to make it better and I can't.

So we have to wait. Tomorrow I'm going to get an appointment set up with a regular, non-ER vet and see if they can do more tests.

My baby is hurting. I'm heartbroken.

Text Time 2

And some more...because life will never stop being funny.

Back story: Buster won't eat if we're not home. It's weird. Before we left for work I gave Buster a bone and Scott said "He won't eat it..." and I bet him five bucks he would. Later that day:

Me: I owe you five bucks. He didn't eat the bone.

Mim: Em says it's hard to get good octopus in Utah!

Me: Well duh.

Mim: So the answer is probably no.

Me: To taco or not to taco. That is the question.

Kwiddens: Taco.

Scott: What happens when you kick a person into the next county? Do they have to live there after that?

Me: Actually I think YOU go to jail...

Me: Coworker is eating most delicious looking burger and fries...the universe must hate me!

Yay!

In other news, I'm cold and I think it should stop snowing and be spring again.