Yes. Words.

YEAH.

Love.

Text Time 17

Kwiddens: So...does killing someone and hiding the body count as exercise?
Me: I would count it!

Kwiddens: This shouldn't bug me but Isaac used my shampoo to wash the dogs
Me: Bleeeeh not fair. Was it expensive shampoo?
Kwiddens: No, but I don't like the levels of the shampoo and the conditioner to be different!

Kwiddens: I need to be a wizard.
Me: Hell yes. We could invent a potion that makes you skinny no matter how much you eat. And the potion would taste like chocolate milkshakes.

Me: I am a total frosting whore.
Kwiddens: Haha did you eat some?
Me: We have mini cupcakes at work.
Kwiddens: Lol...a miniature brothel
Me: That is why I love you.
Kwiddens: Because...
Me: Because you say things like "miniature brothel" in reference to cupcakes
Kwiddens: Tee hee :)

Kwiddens: The tables are set correctly with fork on left, knife and spoon on the right. Somebody said, "Why are they all set for lefties?"
Me: Oh, for crying out loud...
Kwiddens: Seriously. I'm gonna die.

Brainless!

Today someone asked me for help with his chemistry homework and I couldn't help him. It's been more than four years since I've done any advanced math, and the only chemistry I do anymore is instrumental/analytical in nature, so I don't remember how to do any of the physical chemistry, which is what he was stuck on.

I feel like an idiot.

Silly Megan...

If you have a minute, please see this for a really good read about mental illness and the way society perceives it.

Standing In The Fridge

It's about time for some Bebby pictures, don't you think? Yes, I think so!

I'm thinking that last one needs to be enlarged and framed and hung on my wall!

The Snakes Were The Smelliest

While we were growing up we had so many pets I've lost count. We've had dogs, cats, guinea pigs, rabbits, hamsters, mice, rats, snakes, frogs, iguanas, parakeets, cockatiels, finches, fish, and probably others I've forgotten. Which is why I wasn't surprised when Em caught herself two new pets:

Meet Nicholas and Hephaestus.

I was also not surprised when Em caught a bat the other day:

Me: How in the hell did you catch a bat?
Em: I am a wizard.

Poor Scott! Sleepy Me!

1. My energy level is minimal lately. I don't know why. As long as I get coffee in the morning, I'm fine, but it's getting to where the first thing I think about every morning when I wake up is WHEN CAN I SLEEP AGAIN??

2. My boss is out of town this whole week, so I'm holding my breath and hoping nothing breaks. Please tell me I didn't just jinx it...

3. Em and Scott both had a birthday this past week. I won't talk about Scott's (he has refused to acknowledge it), but Em turned 18! I had her over this past weekend and we had a three-day sleepover with movies and crafts and snacks and such. I love having my family so close. I wish they were closer, but an hour-and-a-half drive is infinitely better than if they had never moved here to Utah.

4. I was making good progress on my sweater, but I was getting sick of working on sleeves, so I switched to the blanket for a little while. That's all I have left, though: sleeves and a bit on the collar. I tried it on so far, and it makes my waist look tiny and my boobs look awesome!

5. Poor Scott has been feeling very nauseated for a few weeks now. He finally went to the doctor today, and they ordered blood tests and did an ultrasound. The doctor was concerned that there might be a gallbladder problem. We'll have to wait a few days for results, and then we'll see.

Text Time 16

Kwiddens: Do you want to hear a potassium joke?
Me: Sure
Kwiddens: K :)

Me: I don't like any children except Nyah.
Kwiddens: Lol ok

Kwiddens: I wish I could just be stoned for a couple days
Me: I know EXACTLY how you feel
Kwiddens: And then magically when I sober up my bills are paid and the move is done and the landlord is off our backs
Me: And we're skinny with perfect boobs.
Kwiddens: Um yes.

Me: I feel like lying around and just being a blob today.
Kwiddens: ME TOO. And fooding. I shaved my legs today. That counts for something, right?
Me: Yeah!
Kwiddens: Hell yes :)

Me: Our neighbors are SO noisy!
Kwiddens: What are they doing?
Me: I'm not really sure. I just keep hearing loud slamming noises, like thunks.
Kwiddens: SEX.
Me: It's not that regular. And it's off and on, all the time.
Kwiddens: Weird.
Me: There are kids there.
Kwiddens: You need a house in a retirement community.

The Rock Did It...

Um, Scott, if you post it on YouTube it won't do you any good to ask Jon and Jorg not to tell me about it.



Even I, a shooting novice, know that that's not the right way to hold the shot gun.

Open Letters?

Dear PCL,

May I please steal your Open Letters idea?

-A Bloggy Friend Who Thinks It's A Fabulous Idea



Dear ICP-MS,

You seem to have come to your senses. It only took a week! Please be good, at least for a few months, I beg of you.

-Mama



Dear Scott,

You're my angel. Seriously. You make everything better. You need to know how much I appreciate how hard you work to make me happy and my life easy. I know your job is driving you insane right about now, but remember that you get to come home to an awesome wifey and an even awesomer puppy, and we love to hang with you when you get home.

-Wifey



Dear 401K,

You're going to be much smaller for a while, aren't you? At least we don't need that money right now...

-Someone Who Is Slightly Poorer But Can Still Afford Coffee Every Morning



Dear Green Sweater,

I LOVE making you. I LOVE that every time I try you on you fit perfectly. I LOVE the yarn I'm using, and I've learned my lesson: I'll never use cheap yarn for a sweater again. This time, you're turning out beautifully. You drape just right, and you're smooth and silky (even though there's no silk in you), and your color makes my cheeks look rosy, which will make people think I eat more vegetables than I actually do. That being said, I have one request: please don't need more yarn than I bought. I'm not sure where to get more. I suppose that's what I get for buying the yarn for one sweater pattern and, a year later, choosing a different sweater pattern.

-A Happy, Happy Knitter (Who Will Be Warm This Winter)

Caught Up, FINALLY!

If my constant complaining about my equipment at work bores you, you can skip this one.

Last week my boss came in on Monday, but had Tuesday through Friday off.

So, of course, Tuesday morning, when he wasn't there, the plasma wouldn't light. Again. It gave me the same error message as before. Again. I e-mailed Agilent Dude and explained what was going on. We chatted a bit, and he had me try a few things to see if I could get it working by myself, but it WOULD. NOT. GO. So, he said he'd come in Wednesday afternoon.

He didn't say what time...

He got here pretty late in the afternoon, just about when I was leaving. We talked and strategized a bit, and he got to work. He had ordered some parts in and was thinking that it was the matching box, which was the same part he had replaced a few weeks ago. Apparently, the new one he put in was defective! Yay! So he was at my lab until 7:30 that night, and then he sent me an e-mail that I got the next morning saying that once he had the new matching box back in, it started giving him a whole new set of problems. Joy.

He was able to come in Thursday morning and try a few more things, but he couldn't get it to work, so he ordered some more parts and said he'd be able to come in again on Monday (he had a service call to Colorado he had to make Thursday and Friday. I feel sorry for this guy, having to run all over the place so much!).

Fortunately, we have a method for heavy metals on the ICP-OES that kinda sorta almost works, so after Coworker was running all of his samples on that instrument we were able to throw mine on and let them run overnight. Then, in the morning, we figured out which samples didn't work and sent them over to another lab in the area (because they're super super awesome and nice and helpful) (plus we help them when their instruments are down) (it's all about back scratching) and we were able to keep up with everything that way. Thank goodness, because having an entire week's worth of samples to catch up on would have been pure hell, let me tell you! As it was, I could only run our company's samples this way, and had to save up all the samples from outside clients.

He was able to come in Monday and it was fixed by about 1:00, so we were able to jump on and start getting things done! All I can say is that by the time I left work yesterday, there were still about 90 samples in the queue to be run overnight.

I was so afraid that I would come in this morning to find that something had gone terribly wrong and nothing would have been tested and I would have DIED. But everything worked, and I am just about caught up. Yesterday, however, was the most stressed at work I've been in a very, very long time. I forgot to eat lunch, I was so stressed and busy! At the end of the day I came home and just kinda let myself go brain dead.

But I'm alive. And today things are working.

KNOCK ON FREAKING WOOD.

Text Time 15

Mim: I hate giving away books; I don't want them to feel rejected...

Mim: Aargh! I can't decide whether to arrange my bookshelves by size, color, topic, or alphabet!

Kwiddens: I wonder if BO smells like body odor
Kwiddens: I mean the chemical compound BO
Me: I know :)
Kwiddens: Okie. I didn't want you thinking I was (more) tarded
Me: Lol. You're not "tarded" at all!
Kwiddens: I knew you'd never tell me...

Kwiddens: If I walk to the gas station to get chocolate, I'm nearly calorie neutral!

Kwiddens: I need a nanny today.
Me: I need a shot.
Kwiddens: Amen.
(This one was edited for language. Use your imagination!)

Computers Out Of Thin Air

When I lived in South Dakota kids could get a job when they were 14, but here you have to wait until you're 16, which is fine, unless you're only 15 and you really want a new gaming computer and your parents won't buy you one.

Enter: The Big Sister.

Jorg really wanted a new gaming computer, and Scott is magical and makes computers out of thin air (or out of parts from NewEgg...).

So we all decided that we would buy the computer, and Jorg would pay us back by working 40 hours for us. And I mean WORKING. He's been coming over and staying almost every weekend lately and helping us with all sorts of things around the house, slowly whittling down his hours. He's done 12 already, I think. When he's not working, he and Scott play games, and we've been having tons of fun.

This turned out to be a perfect opportunity for Scott to build himself a new gaming computer, too, which is why he now won't let me buy him anything for his birthday later this month.

So Jorg experiences working hard for something he really wants, and I have someone to help me paint the living room. Scott hates painting, so I was going to have to do it all alone, but now I have company!

A Brief Letter

Dear ICP-MS,

SHOVE IT.

Lots of love,

Your Frustrated Mama