Friday, May 11, 2012

Five Years Later, I'm Still Nuts (About You)

Dear Scott,

The past several years I've written you letters on our anniversary. They've all been a little silly, and a little sweet, and filled with all the wonderful things I love about you. I've meant every word, and everything I've ever said about you still stands.

This year, I feel like I need to write you something more. This is our five-year wedding anniversary. Five years is a long time to be with the same person in this day and age, where people seem to give up so easily on relationships. I admit it, relationships are hard, and ours is occasionally no exception, but every bit of hard work I put into "us" is so, SO worth it.

Babe. What in the holy hell did I do to deserve someone as special as you? I never thought I'd be able to love someone like I love you, but you are so incredibly selfless that you make it easy. I know we disagree on certain things (politics...) and that occasionally we get snappy with each other. That happens to the very best of people. I know Jesus was supposedly perfect, but I bet he got snappy with people sometimes, too. Sometimes we have misunderstandings, or we genuinely get mad at each other, but we've never failed to work it out and come through stronger than we were before.

I feel like this past year has been hard for us. For the most part, things are fine, but we've both been dealing with health issues, depression issues, and body image issues, and those are some of the hardest issues to deal with. Some days I feel like I can't go on, or like I can't be as strong as I want to be for you, and I get the feeling sometimes that you feel that, too. But dude, I love you no matter what you're going through, physically or emotionally. And I'm right there, going through these things with you, because we're in this shit together.

Some of the things we've wanted to do together we haven't been able to. We have so many more plans for the house that we have to put on hold until we figure out how to fix your back. It's possible that it'll never happen like we want it to, and we'll take a loss on this house. That's one of the big dreams we have together, but you know what? It's not important. What's important is that whatever our adventure turns out to be, we will face it together. You're my source of strength. You're my source of happiness. You're the one and only person on this earth without whom I couldn't live.

Sweetheart, I love you so much. You have no idea. Except you do, because you love me that much, too. I know that because you tell me every day, and I can see it in your eyes.

I hear people talk about their spouses every day. They talk about fights they've had, or annoying things they've done, or ways they've been hurt. They talk about their shortcomings, inadequacies, and imperfections. Every time I hear these things I thank The Universe that I have someone who makes me so happy that I don't ever have complaints. I won the husband lottery. Seriously.

Here's what I hope for our future: that we resolve conflicts as well as we've done in the past. That we keep talking about everything. That we keep laughing together. That we show each other how we feel each and every day. That our love grows like it has for the past five years.

The past five years have been an amazing, albeit slightly bumpy, ride, and I wouldn't want to share it with anyone else. Here's to another five years. And five more after that. And five more...


P.S. Five years is a long time to stay with a crazy person. You get bonus points for this. Please take me to a delicious and slightly expensive dinner, and you'll get anniversary snuggles in return (if the Back Pain Gods allow it, anyway...)

1 comment:

kim said...

:) This was awesome. Happy (belated) anniversary! I hope it was fantastic.