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Kwiddens: So...does killing someone and hiding the body count as exercise?
Me: I would count it!

Kwiddens: This shouldn't bug me but Isaac used my shampoo to wash the dogs
Me: Bleeeeh not fair. Was it expensive shampoo?
Kwiddens: No, but I don't like the levels of the shampoo and the conditioner to be different!

Kwiddens: I need to be a wizard.
Me: Hell yes. We could invent a potion that makes you skinny no matter how much you eat. And the potion would taste like chocolate milkshakes.

Me: I am a total frosting whore.
Kwiddens: Haha did you eat some?
Me: We have mini cupcakes at work.
Kwiddens: Lol...a miniature brothel
Me: That is why I love you.
Kwiddens: Because...
Me: Because you say things like "miniature brothel" in reference to cupcakes
Kwiddens: Tee hee :)

Kwiddens: The tables are set correctly with fork on left, knife and spoon on the right. Somebody said, "Why are they all set for lefties?"
Me: Oh, for crying out loud...
Kwiddens: Seriously. I'm gonna die.